thought i would just post the link here for later reference :
http://link.springer.com/referencework/10.1007/978-3-540-30301-5/page/1
http://link.springer.com/referencework/10.1007/978-3-540-30301-5/page/1
Monday, January 21, 2013
thoughts are butterflies
nah, i am not gonna provide any introduction to my blogs anymore. pretty sure this one is gonna die pretty soon like my other blogs did. the inspiration to create one comes as easily as it evaporates within a couple of days. current inspiration comes from an attempt to get some focus on some stuff i need to do. my mind is the most plowed yet infertile thought-space(??). ADD can be pretty limiting. i was thinking of so many stuff that there is no way i can list all of them in an organized manner.
just as i was typing this, i kik'd her. just hours ago i told her not to disturb me for next 18 hours and now i am starting a conversation.....sad.....oh wow, my father just called. he says he was trying to reach my uncle, probably just redialed the last person he called. lol, i was thinking something totally different. i thought i was gonna make a blog quickly and write down all the bs taking up space in my mind and get it over with. instead i find myself thinking something completely different. and already forgot what i was gonna write in this paragraph. did i even require a new paragraph in the first place. i don't know how to type, so i pick on letters on the keyboard, was it really necessary to write something this big? god knows, i can't write for shit anymore. there was a time when i could write for hours and i could write pretty damn well - or at least i thought so....whatever
thoughts are butterflies. this line came to my mind and i thought maybe i should write down all these stupid thoughts, maybe read them later? i wanna study. i have been trying to do so for the last 12 hours....haven't really moved much from the table, just sitting down, watching movies, snacking a bit, thinking about reading 20 different things, reading an article half-assedly (??) (http://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1023%2FA%3A1022639103969)...eh whatever....oh wow, look at that ....1.10 pm and i am still messing around...fml...no no ...let me write it properly.....fuck my life.....told her i was writing a blog and she wanted the address. .....i forgot what i was going to say...my landlord just called and reminded i forgot to pay my rent....seriously, irresponsibility and laziness has costed me a lot already and someday it's gonna take my life too. i wonder if there will be a day when i become so lazy that i shall not move from my place even if a truck is coming towards me....maybe not a truck, may be a bull? whatever....
thoughts are butterflies. i can only catch one at a time, but the others just keep on flying around me - pissing me off - distracting me....i was never really very focused on anything....but recently everything is just making me crazy...
can't really think of anything positive. depressed? yeah....any motive to get out it? yeah...but my history with depression yells that i am the epitome of failure. learnt a new word today. parsimonious - frugal, stingy, assuming very little. can't really write a sentence using this word and it's bothering me. maybe i should just google it again. lol, just did. i should be parsimonious in my spending on food - junk food.
anyway, thoughts are like butterflies, i can only catch one at a time and the others will keep flying around me, fucking with me, messing around, distracting me the whole time....i was thinking of reading a bit on the lectures my math instructor so graciously provided....maybe i should just stop here. i was going to tell her that i am done writing the first post. she left messages that she is sleeping. good enough. maybe now i can get my mind out of kik short messages.
thoughts are like butterflies, i am gonna try to catch that muthafuckin' blue butterfly that is the math lecture notes. probability sounds fun, only if i could focus for a while....
just as i was typing this, i kik'd her. just hours ago i told her not to disturb me for next 18 hours and now i am starting a conversation.....sad.....oh wow, my father just called. he says he was trying to reach my uncle, probably just redialed the last person he called. lol, i was thinking something totally different. i thought i was gonna make a blog quickly and write down all the bs taking up space in my mind and get it over with. instead i find myself thinking something completely different. and already forgot what i was gonna write in this paragraph. did i even require a new paragraph in the first place. i don't know how to type, so i pick on letters on the keyboard, was it really necessary to write something this big? god knows, i can't write for shit anymore. there was a time when i could write for hours and i could write pretty damn well - or at least i thought so....whatever
thoughts are butterflies. this line came to my mind and i thought maybe i should write down all these stupid thoughts, maybe read them later? i wanna study. i have been trying to do so for the last 12 hours....haven't really moved much from the table, just sitting down, watching movies, snacking a bit, thinking about reading 20 different things, reading an article half-assedly (??) (http://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1023%2FA%3A1022639103969)...eh whatever....oh wow, look at that ....1.10 pm and i am still messing around...fml...no no ...let me write it properly.....fuck my life.....told her i was writing a blog and she wanted the address. .....i forgot what i was going to say...my landlord just called and reminded i forgot to pay my rent....seriously, irresponsibility and laziness has costed me a lot already and someday it's gonna take my life too. i wonder if there will be a day when i become so lazy that i shall not move from my place even if a truck is coming towards me....maybe not a truck, may be a bull? whatever....
thoughts are butterflies. i can only catch one at a time, but the others just keep on flying around me - pissing me off - distracting me....i was never really very focused on anything....but recently everything is just making me crazy...
can't really think of anything positive. depressed? yeah....any motive to get out it? yeah...but my history with depression yells that i am the epitome of failure. learnt a new word today. parsimonious - frugal, stingy, assuming very little. can't really write a sentence using this word and it's bothering me. maybe i should just google it again. lol, just did. i should be parsimonious in my spending on food - junk food.
anyway, thoughts are like butterflies, i can only catch one at a time and the others will keep flying around me, fucking with me, messing around, distracting me the whole time....i was thinking of reading a bit on the lectures my math instructor so graciously provided....maybe i should just stop here. i was going to tell her that i am done writing the first post. she left messages that she is sleeping. good enough. maybe now i can get my mind out of kik short messages.
thoughts are like butterflies, i am gonna try to catch that muthafuckin' blue butterfly that is the math lecture notes. probability sounds fun, only if i could focus for a while....
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