Ishtiaque Hōssainwaiti am writing my resignation letter
Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirok\so u r hell-bent on resigning?- Ishtiaque Hōssainyesits written
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiri think u need to know that i shall publish our conversation in my private blog
- Ishtiaque Hōssainand I am slightly amazed by the uncanny resemblance in our thought processessure go aheadbut i must warn you, people will think we are gay
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirand peoples' thought never amounted much to mebecuase most of them dont give a fuck about our existence
- Ishtiaque Hōssainin that case go aheadno they really dont
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirand the people who do give a fuck about us will know how torturous they have been to me
- Ishtiaque Hōssainhah... i doubtthey will even care
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiryeahi doubt it too
- Ishtiaque Hōssainsure they will shed a few tearsbut a month letter*laterlife will go onnothing will change
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirprobably they will read it and smother me with more positivitytrue
- Ishtiaque Hōssainbecause people who have been torturous to you, don't even realize that they are being abusive
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirdescribe your life so far in one sentence
- Ishtiaque Hōssaindespite all the shit, i would have to say its been a beautiful experienceand i have no wish to die anytime sooni have been in lovesure it only lasted for two yeas*yearsbut i felt lovevery few people have that privilege
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirhmmmmi was thinking about it...how to summarize my lif ein one sentence....only thing i could say: "my life ended before it began"
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini lost my virginity to the woman i love... i interviewed a professional murderer, explored a whorehouse in the distant outreach of Dhaka... i smoked drank laughed... doesn't that count for anything? do you measure a man's success in life just by how much money he earns by selling his soul?
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiruhui believe a man's life is judged by the extent he lived his dream
- Ishtiaque Hōssainexactly my friendi am going to live my dreami will be a writer
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirand for my part, i already said i am the embodiment of disappointment
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini may not succeed and be poor for the rest of my life
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirkudos to u
- Ishtiaque Hōssainbut i will sure as hell give it a shot
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirand i dont think i can never be what i want to bebecause the part of my soul that makes me dream is full of life
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini am leaving a 45k per month job, in bangladesh for a guy my age that's a dream come true. i am leaving that to be a journalist for a newspaper that doesn't even pay salary regularly
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirand the part of soul that forces us to do work...that motherfucking part is completely lifeless and barrenagain, kudos
- Ishtiaque Hōssainsounds like you needto make a tough choicebetween life and death
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirwell, tell u what...i am a chickenand i shall never be able to commit suicide
- Ishtiaque Hōssainuntil the circumstances force you, that is
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiri have learnt that from the few times i went through near-suicide experiencenahhhi told ui have acquired a skillthe skill to completely become apathetici have lost faithaccording to the religion i used to believe, thats the lowest u can gomy life has ended before it had a chance to beginlol i just remembered a songmetallicano leaf clover
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini met this rickshaw painter called nana bhai, i interviewed him for the independent. the man earns a pitiful sum of money at the ripe old age of 55. i asked him whether he has any regrets in life, about choosing to be an artist and he said to me "boy, you're not the first person to ask me this. i have been facing this question since i was 13, and i will tell you what i have told them: its better to die of starvation of the body rather than starvation of the soul"
- Ishtiaque Hōssaindo something you love
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir"and the soothing light at he end of the tunnel...is just a freight train coming ur way"
- Ishtiaque Hōssainfind courage
- Ishtiaque Hōssainit won't payit won't be rewardingbut do it anywaybeing apathetic is no way to liveeither liveor diethere is no room for limbo
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirit is no way to live, i agreebut if i am not gonna do what i have been doing, then that will disappoint some other persons too...not that i havent disappointed them already...
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini must leave, i am starting to feel sick
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirbut they still expect something from me....where i dont expect that anything would come off my life ...no matter how much i try
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini will print my resignation and hand it inthen go home and sleep
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirhahahahhaha....shabashi salute ui dont have the balls to do thati am just like everyone else....i pray to the supremem entity that i believe that one day i grow a pair like that
- Ishtiaque Hōssainit doesn't take much honestly...i just decided that i want to be happythat's all
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirummmm one thing u r forgettingfor a closed system, entropy always increasesdepends on the internal work of the system
- Ishtiaque Hōssainwhat's an entropy? i forgot
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiru havent changed much aspects of ur life...so u dont have to change many things to get back to the old life
- Ishtiaque Hōssainthat's truei am fotunate
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiron the other hand, i ahve changed my life to the point that there is no way backmy life is the example of a closed system with continuous internal work which only led to an ever increasing entropytherefore, by the second law of thermodynamics, i am fucked
- Ishtiaque Hōssainwell you are fucked to some extent i will agree
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirhahhahahaat last
- Ishtiaque Hōssainbut... there must be a light at the end of this tunnel, you are so deep in the other side that you cant even see it
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirat last i have found someone who agrees
- Ishtiaque Hōssainyou are in an impossible situation
- Ishtiaque Hōssainburdened with loanshalfway through a degree
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiryesyes
- Ishtiaque Hōssainburied deep
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiractually almost completeyes
- Ishtiaque Hōssainthen finish it
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirthen what?
- Ishtiaque Hōssainfinish it for the sake of your parentsthen do what you loveif you love licking cats
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirbut that doesnt help me pay my loans, does it
- Ishtiaque Hōssainby all means lick catsthen work until you have paid off your loans
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirbecause i am just not willing to go for a job (not that any1 would hire me anyway)
- Ishtiaque Hōssainand THEN lick cats
- Ishtiaque Hōssainyou made some mistakes
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiralright, dont get ickbye
- Ishtiaque Hōssainnow you have to own up to it
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirreally? you too?
- Ishtiaque Hōssaina job is your punishment
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiru want me to work to own up to my mistakes?
- Ishtiaque HōssainIF you want to live
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirson, if i had that motivation, i would have been flying rockets now
- Ishtiaque HōssainI dont want you to do anything... I am just saying we pay for our mistakes.... I took Farah for granted and now she's gone and I will never find another girl like that as long as live; that is my conviction despite what cock and bull story people feed me; not unlike the positivity shit people feed you
- Ishtiaque Hōssainand I have come to terms with thatI am paying for my mistakes every single dayand I am powerless to do anything
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirso thats what we do?we pay for our mistakes?then what do we gain in life?
- Ishtiaque Hōssaingood question
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirif we pay for the mistakes that we made before we were able to realize their potency of bringing hell to life, then what do we get in life?
- Ishtiaque Hōssainyou're asking a small man to answer a very big questionwhat do we gain....nothing... absolutely nothing. which brings me back to what my editor said; life is shit, the smarter you are the shittier it will seem to youif your mind was full of cottonyou could get married and get a routine job make babies and be happy like everyone else
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahira pair of electric clamps on your skull doesn't sound like a bad choice, does it?
- Ishtiaque Hōssainbe a slave to the systemand be grateful for it
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirbe grateful????
- Ishtiaque Hōssainthat's people's definition of happy
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirbe grateful???????
- Ishtiaque Hōssainhaha i know, sounds absurd doesn't it?but thats how 99% of humans live their entire lives
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirhmmm.....
- Ishtiaque HōssainI am going to get a pair of electric clamps when I have tasted all the flavours of life I still haven't tried yet: like jumping off a plane, or having sex with a white woman, or a cup of viet select coffee that cats shit out...sure they are silly reasons to go on livingbut i can kill myself anytime i want... so I want to taste the things i haven't tastedbefore i actually dies*die
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirare they worthy enough to swim through all these shit and rotten blood-flesh mix?
- Ishtiaque Hōssainwell, i dont know.... but like i said; i can kil myself anytime i want.... so why not postpone it for a while to do the things i love? i want to start writing my book, learn how to paint, CREATE something... fuck white women, yellow women, redheads and orientals.... and when I find I have no interest left in that, or when I find that its not worth it... i will end it all
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini control my lifei am taking controlthe choice to live or die is mine
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirbut that a hedonistic take on lifedo u think thats not a mistake
- Ishtiaque Hōssainyeah well that's the only take that makes any fucking sense to me
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiri mean what if it proves to be a mistake?
- Ishtiaque Hōssainthen it will be mistake....
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiras u said, we pay for our mistakes
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini dont really care
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirif we fuck up with how we deal with life, what do we pay with?
- Ishtiaque Hōssainthen I will pay the price if its ends up being a mistakewe pay with poverty
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirwhat is that price
- Ishtiaque Hōssaindisrespectdisappointmentregret
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirdisrespect is already what we have from society for being "weird"....regret? what is regret when u r dyingthere must be some higher price....
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini dont believe in heaven or helltherefore i am free
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirthe supremem power u and i believe in, what if he decides to fuck us in afterlifebut if we fuck with our lives, there must be a repercussion from the supreme almighty
- Ishtiaque Hōssainsupreme power is too concerned with stuff like evolution, explosion of stars and creating new forms of lifei doubt he gives a shit if we engage in premarital sex
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahireven if he doesn't care, he must be angry because we are not as good experimental material as he designed us for
- Ishtiaque Hōssainwe are like ants to him, less than ants... now ask yourself; if you were the owner of an ant farm... would you really take interest whether they are fucking or not? or doing ant drugs?
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirno, but i want my ants to build an ant tower with loose soil and if they dont do that, i would be angryactually u know what, it doesnt matterit only mattered if i could do something about itu have a chance to take on your life, i bid u good luck on that
- Ishtiaque Hōssainthank you... I pray that you find yours
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiralright, see you lateri hope your parents dont disown you for doing what u are doing
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini wish i could give you a simple one-liner advise to fix your problems... but that is not how life works. Its very easy to give people false hope and cheap words of positivity
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiryes....
- Ishtiaque Hōssainbut i can speak from experience
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirand i wish i would get motivated by those cheap thoughts....unfortunately, i am a moron and i shall never be able to forgive myself for the mistakes i have made and i shall never try anything again
- Ishtiaque Hōssainand my experience is this: life is shit, and it will get shittier as you grow older... you will lose your health, your hair, your urge to fly fight fuck and liveso while you are still young
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiri shall live a coward's life and i shall die with regret
- Ishtiaque Hōssaindo what you can
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirhahhahah...do what i can?what can i do?disappear from the face of the earth?
- Ishtiaque Hōssainthat's something only you can answerwhat can you do?think about that
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirif i could, i would make a time machine and make sure that my existence becomes improbable
- Ishtiaque Hōssaini should go, i am going to puke
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirok, bye
- Ishtiaque Hōssainhaha... if you invent a time machine; find me and kill me in 1989
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahirdrink less, they take away the youth u crave so muchi shall remember that
- Ishtiaque Hōssainfare well my friend
- Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahiru too...
Monday, February 4, 2013
A conversation with Ishtiaque--2nd part
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