- Today
- Ishtiaque Hōssain
rather than be an office bitch and make tons of money that i have no time to spend - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
i am not condoning my inabilityi actually dunno how i should feeli am under crazy amount of loans - Ishtiaque Hōssain
but a lot of people HAVE to do it because they have to support their wives and families - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
and lately i am so depressed about everything that i think i lost my sex drivecant remember the last time i gave my left hand some good exercise - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
i knowi just realized thisand felt alarmedi know i have been skipping therapybut i didnt know it got so bad - Ishtiaque Hōssain
tell me something, would it be a good idea for me to leave the country for masters or use that money to buy an apartment?get a hookeran oriental hooker - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
security and monotony??? or experience and regret?secretly, i want to be a writer - Ishtiaque Hōssain
so you're saying I would regret it if I went for my masters?i want to be a writer quite openlythere's no secret - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
i am not saying u will regret itbut u will be undertaking a huge riskthe success probability < 20% - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
but there is always that 20% the 20% that brought me hereyesor even if u finish, the market may collapse and u may end up getting no jobi hate to be a little crying bitch, but i wouldnt recommend anyone leaving country if they are happy with friends and family - Ishtiaque Hōssain
oh the market has already collapsed for journalists long ago... i just want to go abroad to get a masters degree in journalism and experience the world - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
at the end of the day, i am tired, exhausted and i dont see anything clearly - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
yes, the other side of the world wont take u away from yourselfi wanted to hide from everything, i feel i am lost nowok i sound liek a bitch - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
i have lost security, i have lost faith, i have lost familyi wonder what have i gainedtell u what....i have gained 1 thing - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
i can ACT being apatheticinside i may have a fiery storm, outside i wont say a single thingand act as if it didnt even matter - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
everyone i see tries to advise me to think positivelyi dont see anything but negativity - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
isnt there a proverb in bangla, like " ghor pora goru shidure megh dekhleo voy pae" - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
before u resignwait for tomorrowsince u know u can quit anytime u want... - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
t the risk of sounding cliched, even though money doesnt seem like a big deal, it indeed is a big deal - Ishtiaque Hōssain
being a staff correspondent for a newspaper gives me the freedom to come and go as i please - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
and most of them just wont move without moneyi am not the ideal person - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
but my deduction is : don't do anything that u will regretbecause at the end of the day it's not poverty that will make u cry, nor the wealth that will make u happy...but it's the regret that will kill u - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
regret is a motherfucker and we, being us, won't condone our own mistake - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
inside we shall always know that we messed up and we shall never be able to let that go and forgive ourselves - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
thank god u dont lash out with positivitythose motherfuckers...i stopped talking to everyonejust because everyone tried to smother me with positivityonly if they understood.... - Ishtiaque Hōssain
let me tell you something about positivity that i learned form a very wise man, syed mehdi momin; editor of the independent"life is shit. and the more intelligent you are the better you will understand the depths of its shittiness. therefore you will be more miserable than people who are dumber than you" - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
it's days like these that makes me wonder...what if i never existed....what if i am just a character in a story - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
or worse, what if i am actually writing a novel and i am the main character nad i am intentionally sabotaging myselfjust to create a nuance in my story? - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
it is funny....and yet, comparing against others lives, it is sadsomday i just think i shall find a pair of electric clamps...place it on my skulland run the electricity for 30 secondslets see if i forget everythingat least if i could turn off the part of my brain that makes me "expect stuffs in life" - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
or if i could kill that motherfucking part of my soul that is responsible for feeling jealousy....can I? becuase i still believe in one god, even if all i feel most of the time is how biased that god is - Ishtiaque Hōssain
at least there is no god that forces structured organized religion on peoplei believe there is a supreme power that controls the universe, but that power doesn't give two shits about our daily lives - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
the issue is, at the end of the day, i am a chicken, too scared to take my life...let it be for the sake of friends and family or for the sake of religious belief - Ishtiaque Hōssain
the power has bigger things to worry about like evolution and creating new speciesand i am not asking you to take your life or suggesting its a good ideai am saying that you have that option - Ishtiaque Hōssain
before you use that ultimate trump card you MUST exhaust ALL opportunitiesyou want to be a writer? start writing a fucking book - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
i am lazy...lets face iti am lazy and more than often, i like to think that i dont have the potential to be what i want to bei am a living example of expectations not being meti am the embodiment of disappointment - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
if i cared about what others think, then i might have gathered enough courage to commit suicideok, i really need to have a cigarette....i let go of drinking, smoking is my only refuge - Gluttony Sushimon Heskey Tahir
backwhen is the last time i saw you?it doesn't matter that i dont rememberi think it's actually a good thingbecause if i knew u, i would never have opened uphaha, that sounds so gayyet, so miserably true
Monday, February 4, 2013
A conversation with Istiaque - - A classmate from past, currently an online entity That i can open up to
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment